Some have accused mages of being an insular, self-centered group. We would like you to know that this could not be further from the truth. Mages are caring individuals whose relentless pursuit of knowledge and power is centered on your well-being! How do mages serve you? I'm glad you asked!

Nervous at a public speaking engagement? Imagining your audience in their underwear not helping? What if you imagine them as sheep? Still nothing? We will turn your audience into sheep.

Ask your mage friend to cast a slowing charm on you and take the time to stop and smell the roses. Also fun at races!

Teleportation is the chicest way to get around. Nothing ruins your second date chances faster than an acute case of N.O. (Netherdrake Odor).

A friend of a mage never hungers or thirsts. Summoned food has no transmuted fats!

Think a frosted mug is the best way to keep your ale cool? You should see a frostbolted mug.

Studies show that most master works of literature have been written while the author was under the influence of arcane intellect.

Have a white Winter Veil every year when mages summon blizzards for you. (Warning: standing outside during an arcane blizzard may cause slight tingling in the fingers and painful death.)

And always remember: If anything should go astray, a mage is just a blink away.

This pamphlet was printed on summoned paper.